Nothing Too Shocking (Well, One Thing Maybe!), But Some New Angles For Sure

This turns out to be a more thought-provoking assignment than I at first expected. I say that because I wasn't sure how much new information I'd get from asking co-workshoppers about my persona/identity in the workshop space. I felt like I was being pretty honest in our conversation last week about what I bring to the table (pros, cons, whatever), and that I'd only have that feedback substantiated by the opinions of those I asked. In part, I did. But I also gained some fresh perspectives with which to see and push myself in future workshop classes.

Perhaps it's because I asked several people to chime in; one previous teacher and two former classmates. I wondered how different the responses would be, and how much my particular connections/friendships with each might impact their answers. While all three kept very focused on the workshop space, sure enough, each had something different to offer...

Former teacher's words: "Raphael, my take on you in a workshop setting is: thoughtful, deliberate, challenging but not confrontational, measured, politically minded, intuitive and generous. You are also very careful in class. In all honesty, I sometimes wish that you would allow yourself more opportunities to step into the role of leader... you have a consciousness that ... [you should] allow... to emerge more. Anyone and everyone in a classroom can develop their skills as it relates to craft. That is but the surface of things. What will define us as writers or as artists, is our consciousness. The world is full of ornate decorative things and written texts. It's just stuff. What makes it art and poetry is the tension that we embed within. This tension is the evidence of our thinking and our consciousness. That consciousness is very much a part of your poetics."

I was probably most struck by the mention of carefulness and the invitation to take more leadership. It made me realize just how aware I am of how much talking I'm doing, and my intentionality around not 'taking over' a space. This probably grows out of my work history in political/educational settings, and the value placed on 'step up, step back' to ensure a relatively democratic space where all voices are heard. What I gather from teacher's comments, though, is that this principle can't be a sweeping one, or a 'default setting'... i.e. if there's a lack of conversation/discussion in a workshop, or if I feel like participants are mired in one small part of a student's writing that may not warrant as much engagement as a bigger issue or the piece as a whole, I should be willing to push folks on, and aid in a conversation's/discussion's movement, even if I've been talking a fair bit already. Similarly, if I see something in a peer's writing that speaks to an un- or under-developed awareness of some social/political dynamic, and determine that this 'lack' is holding the writing back, I shouldn't be ambivalent/hesitant to raise the issue, for fear of being labeled a shit-disturber or inciting a class towards social consciousness and activism instead of creative writing and literature. Basically, the two ought not be mutually exclusive.

As for the comments my peers made, portions of those were equally striking.

Peer 1: "Well i can think of two things off the top of my head:

1.) sometimes you over explain your work before you present it
2.) in discussing classmates' work you are good at recalling old themes/patterns and making connections--i guess that would be your ability to approach/consider a poet's body of work as a whole."

Peer 2: "In workshop, I really see you as a somewhat of a mediator. You enjoy keeping the flow of discussion going, and have genuine interest in where it moves. I also noticed your feedback is often suggestive: you appear interested in what people are trying to do and keep your comments focused on how to make it better... And...if I were to get extra specific/nitpicky I'd add that due to the nature of your own work, its themes and subtle or not so subtle agendas, you might be seen as a 'political' presence, i.e. aware of the political and cultural ramifications of any given piece of work. Now, I've never seen that change the nature of your feedback- you remain objective on the whole- but it's still something I'd add to your presence in any given classroom."

So the social/political consciousness piece is again on the table, though I'm glad to read that my peer doesn't think my own focus on incorporating political themes into my writing makes me dismissive of or less interested in writing that doesn't do that. Still, that I'm considered a 'political' presence makes me wonder if I get pigeon-holed as someone to be wary of in a workshop, i.e. "He's 'political,' so watch what you say." I guess those are the breaks, though. Won't lose sleep over that one...

I appreciated both peers naming my awareness of writers' intentions, and my feedback being aimed at supporting the project/direction that any given writer's working towards (it was especially affirming to see my focus on reading a person's writing in the context of the entire body of work they share over the course of a semester mirrored back to me, as I do feel like I make a point to stay cognizant of recurring themes and points of focus in peers' material).

The comment about over-explaining my work before I present it, though... I'm not gonna' lie, that shit caught me off-guard!!! Perhaps the biggest surprise of all the feedback received. I say that because I generally pride myself on 'letting the work speak for itself,' and not getting too caught up in discussing my identity/persona as it relates to the material. I find that too many writers, and artists in general, get wrapped up in the self-promotion, marketing/publicity game, explaining themselves or their work to folks who have yet to see or engage with the actual writing. This often feels to me like a defense mechanism, sometimes in the service of ego-enhancement, sometimes for fear that the writing isn't developed enough to speak for itself or for the writer's hopes/wishes/aspirations. To see myself critiqued for doing the very thing I tend to call out was... unsettling, to say the least!

And I guess that's one of the biggest take-aways from this exercise; to see oneself from others' vantage points, and to cultivate awareness of one's useful or untapped tendencies in the workshop, so as to become a more holistic participant, giving to and gaining from the workshop in previously unexplored ways...

See you all this afternoon, and hopefully I'll be able to handle future blog posts before the morning/afternoon of class!