Three Inspirations

Hi Class,

At first, I will admit, I was a bit weary of this week’s assignment. I wasn’t sure how additional self-awareness about my anxieties (which feel close at hand all too frequently) was going to aid my writing process. But having shared my fears with Jackie, who then wrote such a thoughtful letter has helped me to, in quick succession, articulate and then quell some of my biggest fears when it comes to my creative output.

The three inspirations I took away from Jackie’s letter pertain to my three biggest fears.

First, that I am not prioritizing my writing. With the commitments of life always battling for our limited time, from work and relationships, to the constant stream of deadlines and assignments that graduate school requires, it’s so challenging for me to do what doesn’t HAVE to be done (my own writing) before and/or as much as what HAS to be done (everything else). I’m trying to change my perspective on that, and looking at my writing as a priority. Jackie helped me to see that the work ethic, overall effort, and creativity I apply to my schoolwork represents a drive that will also push my creative writing towards success. The juggling act will never abate, but thankfully, it doesn’t seem that my drive will either.

Second, I have felt moments of self doubt where I simply believe I will never publish my fiction. I’ve published my journalism, but there’s something more meaningful (and daunting) about publishing work that does not directly pertain to my career or my current job, that has to be judged by people unattached to me, work that has to stand up on its own as creative and worthy of publication. Jackie kindly reminded me that this is a universal issue at times. Indeed, especially for those of us who have not necessarily had our work judged positively by the “field” and accepted into the “domain.” Jackie pointed out that being in the program, as we all are, shows an active participation in the pursuit of that dream—to publish. As a result, Jackie inspired me with the realization that the dream is closer to completion by being here in the program, making connections, and sharpening the skills that will one day take us where we want to be. From that, I’m taking away some faith that that day will arrive.

Third, I have a fear of the unoriginality of my imagination, of not being creative enough with my plots, characters, and story lines if I give them experiences close to my own life. Through a humorous comparison to Seinfeld, Jackie reminded me of the amazement that can be derived from witnessing the “little commonalities which interweave us all as people.” That commonality can be daunting at times, because it seems even harder to be original. But Jackie inspired me by pointing out that many of us want to find a story of ourselves or that we can relate to in what we read. While we know to “write what we know,” this inspiration goes beyond that because it reminds me that there is depth to lived experiences, a depth and richness that can then be given to the scenes of fiction and allow readers to find pleasure in connecting to an authentic experience. For anyone else out there who might struggle with the craft of using our lives for creative fodder, I keep this quote by Wallace Stegner above my desk: “You break experience up into pieces, and you put them together in different combinations, new combinations, and some are real and some are not, some are documentary and some are imagined…It takes a pedestrian and literal mind to be worried about which is true and which is not true. It’s all of it not true, and it’s all of it true.”

Thanks,
Jennifer